Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Ever since I started TTC, my cycles have been regular. I think I knew that before TTC, but never paid much attention. Now, though, I have an appreciation for the predictability. I'd made some hopeful predictions, assuming my body would resume it's usual rhythms, and thought perhaps AF would appear some time around 4/8. She was perfectly on time, so here I am on CD5 counting down to the real deal. On CD21, 4/28, I report to the RE's office for bloodwork (progesterone check, I think). If all is well, I'll start lupron the next day... expect AF to reappear 5/7. If the timing follows our previous (successful) cycle, ER would be 5/18; transfer 5/21; beta 6/4. There are so many "if's" in IF, but my body has been wonderfully cooperative so far. I'm unrealistically hopeful, what with the warmth and support I sense from the RE this time around and the fact that my body is so well behaved. June 4th is the anniversary of the day I first met C in person. What better gift than a positive beta to celebrate 7 years together? And then the realist in me steps forward and squashes all the optimism. This may not work. The odds are stacked against us. Our clinic's track record includes a 21.4% success rate for women in the age bracket below mine. My age is off their charts. But I think optimisti-me is winning still because I just have to respond to pessi-me with, "I am in the best shape of my adult life. I weigh what I did in high school and have been maintaining a very healthy lifestyle for years now (TTC/pregnancy/BF-ing, and now TTC again). This all has to help in some way, no?" I choose to tread the thin line of realistic optimism. Make no plans, but go ahead and speculate. Because this could work.